A cockroach inside my heart… cockroach part 2...

A great mess, I can not blame them, it is already a human’s nature to do something in one place even do there is a bigger place. Damn it.

Reverse.

There is no way of having a happy moment in this place, so in this moment I think of this “HELL is a resting place, but HEAVEN is the REAL resting place”. To follow the rule or policy is one of the hardest things to do, not all the time I can follow. I will be a GREAT PRETENDER if I will say that I’m always or often following the rules or policy. Kill (turn off) the lights, let darkness to eat this empty small room. Stop the noise from entering to my ears. I do not want to see light for this moment. Contentment is the hardest thing to conquer, because as of now, from w3hat I notice human desires the thing that they do not have. For me the solution for that is do not think of non-sense things because it is worthless from the word itself “NON-SENSE”.

Suicide is the not the best thing to do when you are bored, to make other creature is the best thing to do.

So near, but I can not touch it.

Today is the first day of the month of October (Holy Rosary Month and Breast Cancer Awareness Month also). It is not the first day, but the following days, this day is just the signal for a damn week. Some are important occasion like my parents birthday. Reverse. Christmas is near already, but before Christmas it is advent first. Still I do not have any saving, so bad for me, but it is just okay because we are already starting our research. I have issue number 30 of OTAKUzine. I’m so happy and the cover is “CODE GEASS: Lelouch of the Rebellion R2”. haha. I’m really delightful, but still lonely because I do not have money. But it is just okay, because I will get my allowance.

Human must think also of what makes them happy even do it is not that important, because life with out happiness is a very big mess.

I’m just making a very big stress

There is a tropical storm. And I think our province is affected. But I’m not yet interested with it. Today we went to our “consultant”, and then we talked about our research he gave recommendation and ideas to have a good result. Then we went to Sam Bacoor to buy mice. Luckily we bought ten pair, but that is the last thing that we did before we go home.

When we arrive we checked it first if there are mice available, then we ate our lunch about 2:30 pm. Then we went to National Bookstore then Toy Kingdom and we even enter the surplus for nothing we just walked inside for nothing. Then before we buy the mice, we bought first our food, it is a good thing we accepted the coupons as you enter the mall (thank you McDonalds). Then we went home. It is my first time to ride in a baby bus, it is annoying to open, but it is a nice experience. We reach Naic by 5 pm, but before we ride to the jeep, there is call of nature, so we needed to go to Jollibee (Naic Branch). Then we went home to Maragondon, and then we bought food for the mice.

Then I reach home, at last, safe and annoyed.

You must give too much attention to the real “EMO”

What the hell or what the heck! It is like a night mare to see a person who is pretending to be another creature. I hate it. I want to end it. I don’t want to be called as an “EMO” I hate it.

I do not deserve it. May be I blame other creature what is happening to my life, if I have a failure but it is not enough to be a basis. It is better to call “EMO” for those who follow it as a trend. What the hell, they are forcing there selves to be like that, but it doe not fit them. And also for those who commit suicide for nothing just to be called an “EMO”.

Damn you guys.

May be it is good that you lacerate your wrist then you will totally die so I will not see your yucky or disgusting face. Be what you are. Be true to your self.

I hate it.

A real emo is the one who is not shouting it to the world that he or she is an “EMO”, he or she is the one who hide it but the other creature will notice it. Being emotional is not that easy, it is not with the mind it is with the heart. Do not try to fool us and the worst thing is that you are fooling yourself. This is the fault of the great pretenders that is why our society is crowded of mess.

Mess like you if you are one of the GREAT PRETENDERS. I do not want to hurt your feeling I just want you to open your eyes and specially your HEART.

Do not try to suck the blood

Annoying, this is the word that can describe my whole day today. This day is really tiring. We need to finish our requirements for the intramural. We watch a movie during our English time. The title is “Now and Then”, and then we knew the schedule for the whole month of October.

1. October 01- holiday (no classes). I think it is the last day of Ramadan (I don not know if the spelling is correct).
2. October 02- the medical examination 3:00 pm to 5:00 pm for the players that will play during the intramural.
3. October 06, 08, and 09- intramural year 2008-2009.
4. October 07- Korean/DepEd official meeting (regular classes). Honestly I do not care with that thing (it is better to be honest).
5. October 10- district meet, this is only for those who are interested to play.
6. October 23-24- test day. Ohh… it is our second exam for the secong grading (P.T 2.2)
7. October 27-31- Semestral break (Sem Break). Actually this thing is literally for college student, but it is not bad we have one week vacation. Yepey.

Predictable, I’m predicting that the last week of October will serve as our break, because it is the last week and nearest to all souls day and all saints day. We had our blood pressure for this day and I think my blood pressure is one hundred twenty over eighty. I do not know if that is low blood, normal or high blood.

It is better to run away.

It is better to die than to see your deadly smile.

In a town there was a boy who is willing to give everything that he was for the sake of helping. But one day he was blamed of something that he did not. The one who blamed him asked for his death, and then the town people kill him by burning his body. Even do the boys give everything that he has he was punished of the thing that he did not.

I can not believe. It is not the same thing. I did not expect that I will change my characteristics; from my previous traits it was changed. But still my real self was covered by a very high grass before your reach peaceful garden that you will wish to stay forever.

As I’m trying to say, I believe now that a human characteristic can not be forced it will defend to its environment and how he or she will follow the flow of life. Me I’m trying to take the opposite path, and now I can say that I’m not one hundred percent successful in doing that thing. But still we must be accepted of what we are, like the quotation. It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you are not. Gide (1869-1951 French)

I realize that life is like a tree it will grow, bloom, it will be functional, but still time will came it will die.

die forever

Stop biting your nails!

Chewing your nails may be your stress reliever, but it’s a bad habit that may lead to a yucky infection. Drop that habit for good!

1. Paint your nails in your favorite color so you’ll hesitate to nibble off the polish.
2. Chew on something else, such as sugar-free gum or mints.
3. Keep your hands busy by squeezing a ball as you watch TV.
4. Put plaster on your nails if you’re OK with answering curios questions about what happened to your hand.
5. As a last resort, seek medical assistance to get to the root of your habit and end it.

An article from a magazine.

Source: August 2008, HealthToday, page: 44

I read that after I post my blog last night.

The weather today is nice; it will rain then stop then rain again. I help my classmate to our or their project. My mother made a food from pinipig, milk, coconut meat, coconut water, sugar. They are calling it “inabayan” but I call it as “kinalog”. Next week is already our school intramural. And I’m in a rush, but I do not know why. I need to finish my school requirements.

the f__________ that stays together, die together.

frustration is the next big thing!!!