Second day of the periodic test, it was general cleaning in the afternoon. But I did not return in the afternoon because of my health (I just have a headache but I needed a rest, so I went home to have a sleep).
Return to the periodic test, we just have three tests for this day but the scheduled was four, first Chemistry, Physics, Filipino and MAPEH, but we just have Chemistry, Filipino and MAPEH (health and music). So the rest time is used for everything we want to do. In the afternoon are general cleaning and the planned meeting of the parents of the fourth year students regarding to our a. Juniors-seniors Promenade, b. Research Congress, c. Graduation Exercises, and d. Graduation/class/batch Picture of the graduating class. Honestly I’m not favor of the said promenade, but if time will ask for it I will be joining. If the majority of my classmates are going to join, I will join; I will just base my decision to my environment. I hate this day, I hate it to the fullest, I don’t want top see them, the people who let me down, they can not think that everything is precious, we need some freedom, freedom that was not given to us because of this situation, because of this hell.
Let’s return to the tests. Because I did not study that well the tests were some what difficult. But we have a long recess to study and chat with non-sense things. We review for the health because it is the last test after recess. After every passed their test paper it is time to relax and wait for the result, that fortunately a result that is full of mystery.
We need to divert the topic to my suicide note.
I’m so depress, may be because this tiring day, and this miserable day. I hate this day. Everything will be just a dream of life and death. May be I will not have a sweet dream, because I prepare a nightmare than a stupid sweet dream. A sweet dream will just let you hope of those impossible things; at least a night mare will show the truth, the truth of pain and hopelessness. I prepare to die, than to see your pathetic face. I hate seeing pathetic organisms. I will never hope of those things that you are hoping to. It will never be a reality, never. Never. Never. Why are you staring at me in that way? Why? You do not have the right. You don’t know me either. You don’t know my whole life, Life of sacrifices and despair. You’re not experiencing how to be disregarded, not valued of what you did, even do it is not favor of you (even do it is a good thing), and I’m always the wrong one, why do I have this image to you? You don’t know the feeling of being left alone, left behind the high walls of you dark room, you do not know what is the feeling of hearing the sound of death. May you’re not yea\t making a suicide notes. And now I know no one can save me from this swamp of darkness. Just laugh, that is the best and worst thing that you can do, you won’t help me either. Just abandon me; I know that is what you are thinking right now. Everyone is tired of me, but do not give me the heavy pressure. I will never turn my head back, just to see you’re smiling face while I’m here, in this chaotic world. It sounds sarcastic, but my phantasms will never b the same form the old one. I stopped from dreaming a sweet dream; I will just accept all the night mares that I will have, I will start to forget everything about this stupid things. I will not hope anymore, I don’t want to be disappointed. I will never let that I will sacrifice in the way that I will just be hurt. So stupid, it won’t bother you, I never been comparable with a group of people, I never been accepted with no worries. I will go away with out these happy memories because I do not have any. I will never be happy like you, I will just stay in this mirror to copy the image in front of me, but time will come it will be gone, because you need t move, and no one will stand over me again.
-Dweller
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